For some time now I have struggled with really dark thoughts. The kind of thoughts that I had to call someone at that moment for help. When I am in that dark place nothing else matters and the only thing I can think of is getting rid of these feelings. In those days the thoughts get the best of me and I end down the rabbit hole. I call it the rabbit whole because it is a place of darkness and a place where hope does not exists. Kinda like the scene from Alice in wonderland when she falls down the rabbit hole. Sometimes I end up so far in, that it could take me weeks to get over it. Thankfully those moments don’t come all that often especially with the amount of work that I have done. In this article I am going to explain to you to the best of my ability what I go through , the warning signs and what I have done to get my self out of it. If for some wonderful reason you do not struggle with these thoughts but know someone that does I will help you better understand what goes through their minds.

Everything that you are about to read comes from personal experience. I have read a lot on the subject and spent many hours in therapy as well as speaking to coaches. This is a subject that I take very seriously and I am very passionate about. 

My Mental Health

Having grown up in the 80s, I was always told to toughen up; that boys don’t cry. I learned to hold in my emotions. This is just how it was and I did not know any better.

It caused a lot of damage to my mental health as I grew up. I became an over-thinker and had a negative self-image for years. I was extremely hard on myself. During my lowest point, Since then, I have learned so much about myself. I have read books, watched videos, and listened to positive speeches. The person that I was five years ago is not the same person I am today.

I’ve learned to appreciate my past and I’m grateful for each and every single struggles that I’ve had. The struggle was always part of the plan. The struggle made me who I am.

I am a firm believer that we all can achieve any goal as long as we become unstoppable. Be consistent with your efforts. If you don’t fight for what you want, don’t go cry for what you lose.

My Physical Health

When I first started working out, my intention was to lose weight. I had no idea that exercising would do so much more than that. I started to notice how it was helping my mental health. When you exercise, your heart rate increases, which causes the blood flow to the brain to also increase. When that happens, your brain is exposed to more oxygen and nutrients. I felt lighter and happier. I started to slowly get off my antidepressants and my anxiety episodes were drastically reduced.

Some of the other benefits of exercise that I’ve discovered:

• reduces risk of a heart attack

• weight management

• lower blood cholesterol level

• lower risk of type 2 diabetes and some cancers

• lower blood pressure

• have stronger bones, muscles and joints

• lower risk of developing osteoporosis

• lower risk of falls

• recover better from hospitalization or bed rest

• more energy, and better sleep.

• better mood with the release of feel-good hormones like endorphins and dopamine

• You want to do everything in fitness with a purpose that includes being mentally and physically there in the present.

Fitness is a journey. It’s not like you see on TV and social media. There is no quick fix. For me, it’s been five years. I realized recently that getting fit is not just about exercise but proper nutrition as well. Eating a balanced diet will not only help you physically but also mentally.I started to see a doctor and once I began to follow her orders, the weight started to come off.

I fell in love with fitness and I know you will too. Know your limits and trust the process. The results will follow in time.

Building a New Life

For me, it’s been an interesting journey. I have had many ups as well as downs but I would not change a thing. Every single bad thing that has happened to me has made me who I am today.

I can honestly say that I will never go back to the person I was five years ago. I am a work in progress and I can guarantee you that I will be a different person five years from now. It will not be easy or quick but I guarantee you that results will be well worth it. Surround yourself with the proper information. Read the books, listen to motivational speakers and they will lead you to the right path.

Looking Ahead

I hope that this article has inspired you to be your best self. If you found this to be insightful, please make sure to share it with a friend. Always consult a physician before beginning a fitness journey.